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Friday, October 12, 2018

Week 6 NFL Picks: The Broncos are the 1%, if that 1% is their odds of winning

What’s the odds on “Any Given Sunday” in the NFL? Because that’s all I’m willing to give the Broncos this week.

Don’t worry Broncos Country, only 11 more games to go until we hit the offseason and can talk about less depressing things than our coaching staff being inept and players sucking. We’ll once again be talking about the NEW head coach and coaching staff he brings in (please be Mike Tomlin, Pete Carroll, or Mike Shanahan but without GM duties). We’ll be talking about what lineman we will take with our high first round pick, and we’ll be renewed with hope for the 2019 season. 11 weeks guys, that’s all we have to endure. We’re almost there.

Last Week: 9-6
Overall: 41-35-2

Philadelphia Eagles (2-3) at New York Giants (1-4) 6:20pm FOX/NFLN
These Eagles are up and down like a yo-yo. I’m not sure if they simply aren’t hungry for winning anymore, or what in the world is going on. Thankfully playing the Giants is pretty much a recipe for success. Prediction: Eagles 31, Giants 19

Indianapolis Colts (1-4) at New York Jets (2-3) 11:00am CBS
Will the Colts be any healthier this week? Will the Jets play like they did last week? Or will we see a crap team vs crap team? I’m pretty sure it’s the latter. Prediction: Colts 20, Jets 17

Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2-1) at Cincinnati Bengals (4-1) 11:00am CBS
Which fan base do I want to piss off most? The Steelers or the Bengals? Pretty sure I’ve already pissed off the Cincy crowd with my power rankings, so might as well even things out. Prediction: Steelers 23, Bengals 24

Los Angeles Chargers (3-2) at Cleveland Browns (2-2-1) 11:00am CBS
Lets go Baker! Do us all a solid and beat the Chargers. Prediction: Chargers 23, Browns 24

Buffalo Bills (2-3) at Houston Texans (2-3) 11:00am CBS
I’m not even sure what to say about this game, but the Texans have won 2 in a row, and they’re at home, so I’m going with the hot hand. Prediction: Bills 20, Texans 27

Chicago Bears (3-1) at Miami Dolphins (3-2) 11:00am FOX
As I’ve said week over week, the Dolphins just don’t impress me and I think they fell backwards into a 3-0 record. Add to that that the Bears are fresh and ready to attack. Prediction: Bears 27, Dolphins 17

Arizona Cardinals (1-4) at Minnesota Vikings (2-2-1) 11:00am FOX
I really want the Cardinals to win, but sadly, that isn’t happening this week. Don’t worry Cardinals fans, it’ll happen next week. Prediction: Cardinals 13, Vikings 27

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-2) at Atlanta Falcons (1-4) 11:00am FOX
Stay safe Tampa. That’s all. Predictions: Buccaneers 17, Falcons 24

Seattle Seahawks (2-3) at Oakland Raiders (1-4) 11:00am FOX
The Seahawks took the Rams to the brink, so they should have a relative cakewalk against this joke of a team. Welcome to .500 Seahawks. Prediction: Seahawks 27, Raiders 24

Carolina Panthers (3-1) at Washington Redskins (2-2) 11:00am FOX
The Panthers are rounding into form, and Alex Smith is rounding into Alex Smith. At least no records should be shattered against the Redskins this week. Prediction: Panthers 27, Redskins 17

Los Angeles Rams (6-0) at Denver Broncos (2-4) 2:05pm FOX
Look no further than anything I’ve said for the last few freaking weeks. Plus the fact I already updated their records in here should paint an accurate picture. If “Any Given Sunday” is a certain percentage of a chance to win, I still give the Broncos a 0% chance, because on any given Sunday they’re likely to lose to the damn bye week. Prediction: Rams 51 unless they have pity on us, Broncos 13 unless $wag plays at halftime of a blowout

Jacksonville Jaguars (3-2) at Dallas Cowboys (2-3) 2:25pm CBS
Look for the Jags to want to get last week’s nasty ass taste out of their mouth, and the Cowboys are the unlucky team to feel their wrath. Prediction: Jags 24, Cowboys 9

Baltimore Ravens (3-2) at Tennessee Titans (3-2) 2:25pm CBS
How do I pick the Ravens when they didn’t even score double digits last week? How? Oh yeah, cause the Titans don’t inspire me at all. Prediction: Ravens 24, Titans 23

Kansas City Chiefs (5-0) at New England Patriots (3-2) 6:20pm NBC SNF
I honestly have no idea how to handicap this game. I can’t wait to watch it though. On the one hand, FYTB, on the other hand, FYKC (FY Kansas City for those with too much BBQ on the brain to understand what that acronym means). This is in Foxboro, so I want to swing the Patriots way, but this is also KC who seems to have their number. I really don’t know. Can I call it a tie? Prediction: Chiefs 42, Patriots 43

San Francisco 49ers (1-4) at Green Bay Packers (2-2-1) 6:15pm ESPN MNF
I’m not sure how the Packers could lose this game. Even if Rodgers doesn’t play, the Packers will win this game. Prediction: Niners 17, Packers 31

Bye Week: New Orleans Saints , Detroit Lions



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