CSR looks like game: Bengals edition

Ed. Note - For those of you who enjoyed this series last year, we’ve decided to change it up for 2018. Instead of focusing our attention on the head coach of our opponent, we’ve opened it up to anyone affiliated with the organization. So, instead of “Marvin Lewis looks like...” you’ll get a collection of jokes about other folks as well. We hope you enjoy this updated format. -BS

To get us prepared for Sunday’s game against the Cincinnati Bengals, the CSR staff decided to have a little fun by borrowing the ‘looks like game’ concept from The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz on ESPN.

Ed. Note 2.0 - The Looks Like Game is the best thing that anyone does at ESPN and it’s not even close. If you’ve never experienced it before I highly recommend it. Trust me.

Below is a collection of our best efforts to figure out exactly what/who people from the Bengals organization look like. Feel free to discuss your favorite ones in the comments section, and you can even provide your own if you feel up to it.

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun. We’re not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings here, so if you happen to stumble across this and find your name mentioned, we sincerely hope you understand that we’re mostly kidding.

CSR looks like: Bengals edition...

Marvin Lewis looks like the manager of a small town hardware store that’s struggling to stay open after the new Home Depot opened down the street.

Andy Dalton looks like he has just a mediocre enough football mind to be the Bengals head coach one day.

Tyler Eifert looks like a Bro Country singer.

Marvin Lewis looks like a guy that after more than a decade as a coach in the NFL finally took his harmonica out of his front shirt pocket.

A.J. Green looks like he thinks a ‘Captain Munnerlyn’ is a seasonal special at Long John Silver’s.

Andy Dalton looks like a guy whose parents bought him a brand new expensive car in high school.

Marvin Lewis looks like someone told him 20 years ago his dog is dying and he is still trying to process the news.

Tyler Eifert looks like he injured his back in college after asking a buddy to “hold my beer and watch this.”

Paul Brown looks like he is confused that he doesn’t own the Browns.

Marvin Lewis looks like a gym teacher who spends too much time talking about his sexual exploits in high school.

Tyler Eifert looks like he would try to steal your girlfriend any chance he gets.

Mike Brown looks like a guy who just refused to buy brake pads from Chris Farley.

Marvin Lewis looks like a guy who goes to Applebee’s and no matter what heat of chicken wing he orders will complain that it isn’t spicy enough.

Andy Dalton looks like a guy who once worked as a busboy at Applebee’s and would spend a meal observing and reporting all the current staff’s errors to his wife and kids.

A.J. Green looks like a guy who sells insurance after a failed music career.

Marvin Lewis looks like a guy on the edge of an aneurysm each time he sees a Microsoft Surface Pro being used on his sideline.

Andy Dalton looks like he said “Wanna see why they call me red rocket?” every weekend when picking up girls in college.

A.J. Green looks like a guy whose NFL dreams started with seeing Clifford Franklin in the Replacements.

Marvin Lewis looks like the meat department manager at Harris Teeter who always greets customers while wearing a blood stained butcher’s coat.

Andy Dalton looks like the guy at a party who takes beer pong way too seriously.

Tyler Eifert looks like he was born wearing cargo shorts.

Marvin Lewis looks he often thinks about how much he pays for car insurance.

Mike Brown looks like he believes aliens exist and he will be the first to make contact.

Marvin Lewis looks like the overwhelmed dad panicking about the damage from the car crash in an Allstate commercial.

Tyler Eifert looks like the high school bully who loses his cheerleader girlfriend to Andy Dalton at the end of an 80s teen movie.

Which ones are your favorites, Panthers fans?

Discuss.

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