CSR looks like game: Ravens edition

Ed. Note - For those of you who enjoyed this series last year, we’ve decided to change it up for 2018. Instead of focusing our attention on the head coach of our opponent, we’ve opened it up to anyone affiliated with the organization. So, instead of “John Harbaugh looks like...” you’ll get a collection of jokes about other folks as well. We hope you enjoy this updated format. -BS

To get us prepared for Sunday’s game against the Ravens, the CSR staff decided to have a little fun by borrowing the ‘looks like game’ concept from The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz on ESPN.

Ed. Note 2.0 - The Looks Like Game is the best thing that anyone does at ESPN and it’s not even close. If you’ve never experienced it before I highly recommend it. Trust me.

Below is a collection of our best efforts to figure out exactly what/who people from the Ravens organization look like. Feel free to discuss your favorite ones in the comments section, and you can even provide your own if you feel up to it.

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun. We’re not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings here, so if you happen to stumble across this and find your name mentioned, we sincerely hope you understand that we’re mostly kidding.

CSR looks like: Ravens edition...

Eric Weddle looks like he calls every woman he sees a ‘scurvy wench’ before letting out a loud ‘ha ha harrr’.

Joe Flacco looks like a guy who takes out loans for the penny slots.

John Harbaugh looks like a guy who asks his son to show him how ‘the G-Mail’ works and then pretends to understand so his son won’t be disappointed in him.

Terrell Suggs looks like the member of a street gang on Law & Order who is actually an undercover cop and gets furious when Lenny Brisco blows his cover.

Eric Weddle looks like a stunt double for the dudes on Duck Dynasty.

Joe Flacco looks like the guy who says “you’re welcome” to a one night stand after a very mediocre evening.

Don Martindale looks like his life’s mission is to deny you water.

John Brown looks like the bank teller who wears dress shirts and bowties to work everyday, even on casual Friday.

Justin Tucker looks like the neighbor who constantly says he should ‘have you for dinner’ but isn’t clear on whether he means to cook *for* you or to cook you.

Michael Crabtree looks like Generic Face 9 on Madden 19 player creator.

John Harbaugh looks like a small town dentist who gets really angry when you admit that you don’t floss.

Alex Collins look like he responds by chuckling and saying ‘nah, dawg’ while smiling when asked if he smokes weed.

Joe Flacco looks like the guy your father in law wishes his daughter had married instead of you.

Don Martindale looks like a guy who just invested a significant amount of money in a new brake pad division and plans to leave it to his idiot son someday.

Marty Mornhinweg looks like a guy who owns a spitoon for more than just antique purposes.

John Harbaugh looks like a guy who would sit in the bar seat right next to you at Applebee’s, give you an entire sales pitch while he chews his lunch, and leave his business card next to your beer before you even get to order your food.

Joe Flacco looks like he wears a leather Harley Davidson jacket to ride his bicycle.

Marshall Yanda looks like he has an underground shelter in his backyard with canned beans stacked to the ceiling and says he has it ‘just in case’.

Eric Weddle looks like he has an underground fallout shelter in his backyard that he dug by hand.

Justin Tucker looks like a bad guy’s sidekick.

Hayden Hurst looks like he knows how to cook up a mean haggis.

Joe Flacco looks like Andrew Luck’s neckbeard had a midlife crisis.

Tony Jefferson looks like he’s very quick to tell you that he’s a small business owner.

Hayden Hurst looks like the guy at the gym who drops the weights really loudly after doing a moderately heavy deadlift.

John Harbaugh looks like the small town preacher who’s clearly hiding something in a made for tv murder mystery.

Marty Mornhinweg looks like a guy who takes the wind in overtime.

Eric Weddle looks like a blacksmith who specializes in replicas of medieval swords.

Joe Flacco looks like a guy who wears two cell phones on his belt.

Which ones are your favorites, Panthers fans?

Discuss.

from Cat Scratch Reader - All Posts https://ift.tt/2Oa0Abz