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Friday, November 22, 2019

Stefon Diggs is attempting to solve the greatest mystery of our time

NFL: Minnesota Vikings at Dallas Cowboys Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

And we should encourage him

There are some mysteries out there that history has not, and may never, provide answers to. Mysteries like what happened to D.B. Cooper, whether or not the Bermuda Triangle is legitimate, and why the old Police Squad! television series only lasted six episodes.

(I mean, seriously, they got enough jokes from those six episodes to make three movies. What gives?)

But, during the Minnesota Vikings’ bye week, wide receiver Stefon Diggs appears to be attempting to solve what might be the greatest mystery of modern times:

Who is Lizzo’s “new man on the Minnesota Vikings?”

The lyrics come from the smash hit song “Truth Hurts” by Lizzo, a young woman who was born in Detroit but moved to Minneapolis in 2011. Even though “Truth Hurts” was originally recorded in 2017, it became a hit this year and has been nominated for several Grammy awards.

Sports Illustrated asked Diggs if he had any inside information on who the player in question might be, and responded with this:

“Nobody has come forth and said anything... I’ve asked my teammates, nobody has said anything. But we’re going to get to the bottom of it, I promise.”

According to the article from CBS Sports, the clues to this point are as follows:

  • It’s not Diggs
  • The player is from the Detroit area (Lizzo told the crowd at one of her concerts this)
  • The player would have had to be on the team in 2017 (when the song was originally done)

One player that checks all the boxes is linebacker Eric Wilson, who went to high school in the Detroit suburb of Redford. His rookie year was also 2017, so he in fact would have been. . .say it along with me. . .the new man on the Minnesota Vikings.

More importantly than that, however, is that this could be something bigger. I don’t know if anyone from the Vikings Entertainment Network or anyone affiliated with them is reading this or anything, but I’m telling you. . .this absolutely, positively, must be made into a video series of some sort.

Just picture Stefon Diggs in a trenchcoat, Colombo-style, tracking down his teammates and asking them questions about this. It would be awesome! Maybe not during the season, I guess, but definitely as an off-season project. Or maybe they could get Adam Thielen to join him and do an homage to Dragnet or something.

Since we don’t have any football to talk about during the bye week, we can talk about stuff like this and hope that Stefon Diggs. . .or somebody else. . .solves the mystery that has been on a the minds of a lot of people over the past year.



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